Australian Journey: July 2017

I wrote the below for the weekly MAF internal 'News for Prayer'. It summarises some of the highs and lows of my last couple of years.

Today’s devotional thought was submitted by Daniel Simkins from the Cairns office.

“Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest…for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

I am taking a wild guess that I am not the only one who has felt weary and heavy laden.

What has gone wrong? If Jesus’ yoke is easy and his burden is light, whose yoke and burden have I been carrying to make me feel crushed under its weight?

I have suffered with anxiety since I was young, particularly in certain situations, but about 18 months ago I really started to struggle. It wasn’t just particular situations that were making me anxious, but pretty much anything. I began to feel like I couldn’t cope with day to day life, and there were times I would just sit staring at my computer screen and be completely paralysed with fear – of anything and everything.

Eventually I reached a point where I felt like I just couldn’t take one more step. I am very fortunate that I had a friend and colleague I could talk to – and he helped me take steps towards getting ‘proper’ help. I got a recommendation for a doctor who is excellent with mental health issues, started on medication and was referred to an excellent psychologist. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder – and subsequently with depression. Over the following months I gradually unpacked the reasons for my feelings and started to learn ways to address both the symptoms and the underlying issues. I am now at a stage where I feel mostly ‘fixed’ and am slowly coming off the medication.

Although mental ill health is talked about a lot more these days there is still a lot of stigma attached to it. In some ways this is strange, because it’s not like mental health difficulties are a rare thing – in most Western countries two to three people in every ten experience some form of mental illness each year. And Christians are not immune – the incidence of mental health issues in the church is the same as in the population as a whole, and for Christians the stigma can actually be more of an issue. I wouldn’t say that spiritual factors are never involved but I think we need to stop making that assumption. Most mental illnesses have historical, social, physiological and environmental root causes – and attributing the illness to sin or lack of faith or demons doesn’t help anyone.

For us MAFers, who deal regularly with transitions and other stressful situations there is every reason to expect that many of us are going to face these kind of issues.

So what does this mean for you? It means if you are struggling mentally – with depression, anxiety, or other negative thoughts (or even more serious psychiatric disorders) – you are not the only one!

Please, don’t feel like you’re alone; don’t feel like you have to handle it all by yourself; don’t feel like it’s all your fault; don’t feel like you’re weak because you struggle with your thoughts. These things are not a sign of weakness any more than if you struggle with arthritis or recurring malaria!

So what can you do?

Firstly, get to know God better. From my experience, many of my problems came from a misunderstanding of my Father’s nature and heart. From not realising that my value comes from Him valuing me – and from nowhere else. This takes time and there is no way round that – it may take some re-prioritisation of your days, but it will be more than worth it.

Secondly, if you’re not already doing so, get help and support – go to a close friend or someone you trust or respect, who you know will not judge you or belittle you for what you are feeling. If there is someone you know who has faced this struggle before, talk to them. Get a recommendation for a good doctor who is experienced in helping people in this area. Get counselling; see a good, recommended psychologist. Go on medication if you need to.

There is no shame in any of these things. Admitting to yourself and others that all is not right and that you need help is not a sign of weakness – it’s one of the most courageous things you might ever have to do. And if anyone tells you different- they’re wrong…

And remember, God is still in control. I am so grateful to God for letting me hit rock bottom – I have grown more emotionally and spiritually in the last 18 months than I have in the whole of the rest of my life. I have learnt so many life lessons sometimes I can barely believe it.

One of the key lessons was this: “I can’t do life on my own – but that’s OK, I was never designed to”. I need God, and I need other people. I am not on my own, I don’t need to struggle alone.

So I learnt that Jesus’ yoke can be easy and his burden can be light – but there’s a catch; if we want to have his yoke and burden, we have to give ours up to Him.

There is help and there is hope.

MAF PRAYER

I was on the patio a few weeks back and noticed this guy had come to visit. We stuck a pot over him and I spent a considerable amount of research time trying to confirm whether he was venomous.

I eventually identified him as Thereuopoda Clunifera (or 'a centipede' in English).

The weird thing about this part of the world are that there is such diversity of wildlife that even something this remarkable is barely catalogued. In fact there are so many different forms of wildlife that many of them haven't even been catalogued. A recent trip to Cape York (the mostly-unpeopled area North of us) discovered over 50 previously unknown species of spider (see here for more).

(with perspective)

If you want a more up close and personal experience, here is a video...

Unfortunately, we left him under the punnet while we went to do other things, and the sun moved round the house - and he ended up rather the worse for the experience 😦