Lesson 3

Lesson 3: “I can’t do life on my own – and that’s OK; I was never meant to”

I’m guessing that this lesson is one that applies more to those of us raised in the West – where self-reliance, independence and ‘standing on your own two feet’ are considered virtues.

When this kind of perspective is the backdrop to your life, it can be quite humbling to be brought down to a place where you actually feel like day to day living is beyond your capabilities. This was where I got to – and it was hard. But in the struggle was a lesson that makes life better: I was never meant to ‘go it alone’. God built us to be dependent on Him, and in relationship with other people. Being brought low just enabled me to see the truth that very little is in my sphere of control, but nothing is outside of God’s.

As Jesus taught us, God wants us to relate to Him like little children. Those of you who have children will know that ‘littlies’ (as they call them here in Australia) are 100% dependent on you as their parents. They don’t worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or where their next meal is coming from. They ‘know’ that their parents have everything under control.

How freeing is it to have that kind of relationship with God? To know that everything is under His control – that you don’t need to worry about anything?

I’m not saying it’s easy – but then nothing of value ever is…

Lesson 2

Lesson 2: “Just because I feel something doesn’t make it true”

This lesson was one of the hardest for me to learn. For as long as my memories go back, I hadn’t known that there was a distinction between what I feel about a situation and the reality.

Let me illustrate: I hated the first day of each school term. I used to get myself into a high state of anxiety and dread. In my mind, the first day of school was terrifying – and nothing and no one could convince me otherwise. In retrospect though, there was not actually anything about the first day of school that made it more dangerous or scary than any other day. It is only now that I realise that my feelings about the day had no basis in reality. They were just feelings.

So what I have learnt is that feelings are an unreliable indicator of reality. Apparently (and I can’t say I’ve checked) the Bible has 365 exhortations to ‘not be afraid’. That implies to me that God thinks any feelings of anxiety or fear we may have are unnecessary. If we really trust God that He loves us and cares for us as much as He says (and that’s a whole other lesson right there), then He is right – we don’t need to be afraid of anything. So it seems to me that if we can get a really accurate vision of God as our Father, than we can stand up to our feelings of fear and say with confidence, “I know you’re a lie”.

Is there anything in your life today that is giving rise to strong feelings – fear, anger, hurt, offence? Is it time to ask whether your feelings are telling you the truth?

Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true…

Life lessons

Earlier in the year, I (Daniel) joined the team in MAF that distributes our weekly PrayerPoints e-mails. Each week these go around MAF accompanied by a devotional 'blurb'. For my first seven blurbs I wrote about my 'life lessons', and I thought I would share these here over the next few weeks. So, here goes...
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God seldom allows the opportunity of us going through tough times to pass without teaching us something. There are several life lessons I learnt during my struggles with anxiety and depression. These are they…

Lesson 1: “My value is found in who I am, not what I do – I have nothing to prove”

I don’t know about you, but I find it very easy to let my identity and self-worth be defined by what I do. Essentially, that means I value myself based on the feedback I absorb (either rightly or wrongly) from other people.

Of course, the problem with letting other people define your value is that they can also take it away - intentionally or unintentionally - with a look, a passing comment, or a poorly worded e-mail. Giving other people the power to determine how you feel about yourself can, in turn, drive your behaviour - you need to work harder and achieve that bit more, so that people applaud you and you can feel good about yourself again – at least for a while.

But God doesn’t think that way. We talk a lot about God’s ‘unconditional love’, but it’s easy to get used to the jargon and completely miss what that means. Our Father values us for who we are, not what we (or don’t) do. And who we are is defined by His love for us. The song ‘Good, Good Father’ expresses it well:

“…I'm loved by you. It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am”

The true origin and only reliable source of our identity and value is that we are loved and accepted by God - regardless. And He loved us ‘while we were yet sinners’. Nothing you do can make God love you more, or less.

Does that make you breathe a bit easier? Does that help you believe that maybe, even if you don’t work 10 hours today or meet that deadline, your world isn’t going to collapse around your ears? 

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with doing a good job, but if you only feel like a worthwhile human being when you’ve done a good job, then you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unnecessary pain.

It is vital to realise that there is no relationship between our value as a person and our performance. I have value because God loves me and accepts me, uniquely and individually.

You might think this devotion is a load of nonsense - but I don’t care; God loves me anyway 😊