Help!

Apologies if this post sounds brusque, I am writing it for the second time. grrrrrrr

My Britishness is having to be laid aside - we could do with some help (survival beats pride).

We have got some much better accommodation, but it is 15 minutes from the hospital. Also I have the worst cold in the history of mankind, so cannot really be on the ward - which means Libby is having to do all the heavy lifting and is getting run rather ragged.

If anyone has any contacts in Brisbane who might be able to help out with any of the following, please could they let us know?

* the short term loan of a car (ideally a 6+ seater, but we can make a 5 seater work)
* maybe a few meals while we are still finding our feet
* a car seat suitable for a 5 year old
* someone who could possibly sit with Josh for while during the day, to give us a break (especially while I can't)
* any knowledge of a good (preferably Christian) kindy in the vicinity of 11 Bramston Terrace, Herston
* anything else that might help us survive that I might not have thought of...

You can email on Daniel dot Simkins (and the usual) at gmail dot com. Or text me if you have my number.

Thanks.

PS. Josh is doing relatively OK - but not clear whether he will get to come home so we can all be together as a family. It would be nice 😞

Thursday

Very quick update before crashing...

Today was a bit up and down. Joshua started the day quite perky, but his central line is still quite uncomfortable, which got him down a bit and made him a bit like a cat on a hot tin roof trying to find a comfortable position. His mood was a bit catching, and everything just kind of caught up at once. It brought home all of a sudden how much you would usually rely on friends in this kind of situation (like we did last week).

However the social worker was quite helpful, and there is lots of support out there. However, finding some local (Christian) friends is high on the agenda...

The good news is that most of the tests done this week have come back reasonably positive. From our quick chat with the consultant it looks like things are on track. He will be on fairly mild chemo this week, before they start with the heavier stuff.

There is also the possibility of some more suitable accommodation becoming available, which would be a huge blessing (although it is likely to be further away, which could bring a different set if problems).

Biggest prayer points are:

* Daily logistics, particularly what to do with Ruben
* Accommodation and transport/travel
* Joshua's physical, mental and emotional well being
* Local support
* Getting to grips with Brisbane

Surgery success

Quick update (catching up on work e-mails took priority this evening 👦)

Pretty good day overall. Libby came into the hospital with Joshua at 7.00am to wait for his surgery. In the event, it didn't happen until around 11.00am, so the rest of us were able to come in in time to see him before he went under (and so I could take him down to surgery).

The surgery all went smoothly, and they managed to put in his line for the chemo (a tube that basically runs from near his heart out to a little double tube in his chest for running the drugs in). He also had a lumbar puncture (and a bit of chemo through that at the same time) and some bone marrow taken out for testing (and unused samples used for research purposes apparently). They also took out the staples from last week's surgery, which was a bonus as Joshua wasn't particularly looking forward to that bit.

They were all pleased with how it went, and Joshua was fairly chipper when I met him in recovery. He said, "I wouldn't mind doing surgery again" - I guess being asleep isn't that hard. They even let him keep the face mask used for oxygen during the surgery.

He has had his first doses of chemo - both oral and through the line as well.

The rest of us are hanging in. Ruben has been very tired I think, which has made his behaviour a little bit challenging. The middle two start school tomorrow, and we will meet with the social worker and get a little more clarity on how we make this time in Brisbane work, which will be nice.

In some ways being in Brisbane is harder to handle than the medical stuff. I remember from our initial MAF orientation days being told that life is like a house built up of different building blocks (e.g. family, house, church, work, friends, community). We were told a key part of transition is putting all these blocks back together after moving to a new place. We have suddenly had all the blocks (except family) whipped out from under us at once - as well as the medical issues to deal with - so it is not surprising if we are feeling a bit at sea. But we will get through. Everyone here is really nice, and it is really set up (it is basically a whole ward dedicated to dealing with the kind of situation we are in).

I might put some more photos up tomorrow, time and circumstances permitting.

Brisbane

Bit pooped to write too much, but in summary:

i) Because Joshua was 'fit to fly', they moved up our timetable
ii) Joshua was discharged at around 10:30 on Monday, and we had six hours to pack, take all the library books back, and pick up all the kids and then get to the airport in time for our 16:35 flight to Brisbane
iii) we arrived in Brisbane at around 8pm, and got a taxi (with a handy taxi voucher from social services) to our accommodation at Mater Hill Place Motel (six of us with luggage in one room, designed for four max...we may need to look into alternatives)
iv) Joshua and I took an uber to the hospital in time for an 8.00am ultrasound, followed by a meeting with Joshua's specialist, Dr Moore
v) Libby and the kids joined us for a bit, and Libby went to see the schooling facilities - no kindy unfortunately
vi) At around 10:30 Joshua and I had the fun of riding to the Royal Brisbane & Women's Hospital in an ambulance - no flashing lights or sirens though
vii) Joshua and I then spent several hours waiting/doing a PET scan - maybe more details to follow later
viii) It looks like the treatment is going to be a 3-4 month process

Please pray for wise decision-making as we try and work out the logistics of how we can make the next 3-4 months work, as well as sufficient capacity to get through the next few days.

Please also pray for Josh tomorrow morning as he has to go into surgery again to have his chemo line put in, as well as various other tests involving large needles in unpleasant places. They will also combine this with the first bout of chemo.

Thank you for your prayers and support.
_________________________________________________________________

and by the by...for those interested in architecture (like Joshua) this is the hospital where Joshus is being treated.

Sunday

Another good day. Joshua and I went down to the Esplanade again this morning after breakfast (Joshua walked most of the way, pushing the wheelchair) and the other met us down there. We wandered along to Muddies playground for a bit and then wandered back to the hospital. I took the others home for lunch, and we moseyed around at home for a while (I managed to get the lawns mowed - which was my aim for the week!) and then headed back to the hospital where we had a nice dinner provided by more friends (along with the gingerbread family - see below). 

Joshua is much better, and other than low energy levels and a bit of limitation on mobility and strength, he is pretty much back to his old self. Unfortunately, he keeps making jokes that make him laugh, which is rather painful. Ruben caught onto this and started doing funny things to make Josh laugh - I don't think he quite got how much it probably hurts! 

We are very hopeful that they will parole him (sorry, discharge him) tomorrow so he can have a couple of days at home before we head down to Brizzie. Joshua keeps asking, "Why am I still here?"!

Just so you know how much Josh is slumming it, this is the bathroom of the room he has been in all week:

And this is the rest of the room (you can see my/Libby's bed in the corner):

This afternoon he obviously got knocked off the VIP spot, and was moved to a much smaller room. With a shabbier view...

And for the sake of posterity, here is our gingerbread family:

We keep finding it a little bit odd how the whole situation isn't seeming like that much of a big deal - this is Joshua's perspective, and it seems to be catching! I keep wondering whether we are in denial, or missing something! 

I was thinking about it while I was mowing, and I realised that someone who has cancer is actually quite different from someone who is dying from cancer. I suspect our feelings would probably be a bit different if the news had been worse. But I hope we would still have been hanging on to God. 

The Real Stuff

Having got all the practical and physical details out of the way, I thought I would write something about the 'real stuff'. Most people ask us, "How are you doing?" It's a fair enough question, but not that easy a one to answer.

I guess the bottom line is we are doing OK. We have questions, thought processes and emotions as you might expect, but none of them are taking us beyond breaking point.

In the past, when other people have faced hard situations a bit like this I have always wondered, 'How do they cope? I have been a believer in the fact that God gives you the resources you need to deal with any situation you face (but only when you have to face them - which is why anxiety is a bit of a killer, as you are anticipating hard situations without the resources to face them). As I said to my brother, I'm about to find out whether it's true!

And to be honest, it does seem to be. I was thinking this morning that, although this may be a hard road we have suddenly found ourselves on, we can only face it just like any other road - one foot in front of the other.

We are taking one day at a time, partly because that is all we know about - but I do think that is probably how God wants us to live all the time anyway. My children when they were young always asked, "What are we doing today, Mummy?" God says we are to live like little children, and I think that is what he meant (amongst other things). If there is one thing I have learnt in the last couple of years it is, "Don't worry about tomorrow". Although I have to confess occasionally that is only a theoretical lesson learned!

[WARNING: those allergic to possible heresy may wish to avert their gaze at this point]

The situation has also raised questions about prayer, and specifically whether there is any point to it. I completely believe in the importance and value of prayer in the sense of 'keeping talking to God', but I guess my questions are about 'supplicatory prayer'. For me my thought process goes something like this:

a) God loves me (and Joshua, and everyone) more than I can possibly conceive. (I wrote recently that if we could comprehend even a pin prick of how much God loves us, we would be overwhelmed)
b) God knows everything that was, is and is to come, he is the 'ultimate intelligence.
c) God works all  things together for the good of those who love Him

So why ask God to do particular or specific things? If these things are all true (and I believe they are), then surely praying to Him to do a particular thing is merely interfering or teaching your grandmother to suck eggs? God knows best, He loves us, and He wants the best for us - so surely His ideas about what is the best course of action are the best anyway? Surely the only prayer to pray is, "Thy will be done"?

Having said that, it does say that 'the prayer of a righteous man availeth much', so there must be something to it 👦

So, if I was wearing my normal spiritual hat, without the above thought processes, and for those who have a better understanding than me about these things, please pray:

* that Joshua continues to recover from the surgery as well as he has been
* that he is sufficiently recovered so that he can come from for a day/night before we have to travel down to Brisbane
* that the timing of further treatment is such that we are able to be back in Cairns for the second half of September when my entire immediate family is coming to visit
* for the best possible future diagnoses and that the treatment generally is bearable for Joshua
* for all the logistics and arrangements for going to Brisbane/being in Brisbane/schooling, etc.

Personally, I am praying these following things, and you're welcome to join me:

* that this experience would be something that builds huge amounts of strength and character in Joshua, and is the beginning of a beautifully close relationship between him and God
* that Libby and I are able to learn positive things throughout the process as well, and move closer to Him despite any questions we have
* that we would remain strong and get stronger as a family unit throughout this situation

I guess the difference is that I am praying more for what God can do in us, rather than what we think He should do for us.

We love Joshua, and our Daddy loves us all 👦


(By the way, this is mostly a rhetorical 'blowing off  steam' post - so no need to let me know the answers 👦)

Saturday

Another really good day. Josh is no longer plugged into anything and is now only on the occasional oral pain medication. He is now allowed normal solid food and is much more mobile.

This afternoon we all went down to the seafront (Joshua in a wheelchair) and enjoyed a bit of sunshine. Libby brought dinner (thanks, Janine 👦) and the kids into the hospital, and we had a nice dinner along with much-appreciated quality ice cream.

Joshua is now much more his usual self and enjoyed starting on his Lego model we bought this morning. Although he is still low on energy and quite weak, it is great to see him so much better. It amazes me daily how quickly the human body (at least, a young fit human body!) can repair itself. The wonders of modern medical science also continue to amaze me. I keep thinking that every little thing that they bring out (from the electric beds to each medication, to the drip, catheter, scanners, rubber gloves, dressings and on and on) was someone's life's work. I'm glad Joshua going through this now, and not a hundred years ago!