Oceans

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

I was listening to the song, ‘Oceans’, by Hillsong today. Loved and listened to by churches all over the world, it’s a great song. Somehow we always seem to be able to relate well to all the water references in worship songs!

While Joshua was in hospital we had a line from the song stuck up on the wall, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders”. That’s a powerful line, but for me it’s a hard one. I want to trust, but honestly, I want some borders. Maybe I’m not actually verbalising it, but I am sure when I pray for more trust and faith, what I am actually saying is, I want to learn to trust you Lord, but please don’t let anything happen to the kids. Please give me more faith, but please don’t let anything happen to me. Maybe something small and manageable, no death, dying and illness and definitely not too much suffering. Definitely not childhood cancer. Am I brave enough to pray, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders”?

Fortunately, although we are called to trust without borders, God has clear boundaries. Jeremiah 5 v 22 says, “I, the Lord, define the ocean’s sandy shoreline as an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross. The waves may toss and roar, but they can never pass the boundaries I set." We may feel in the midst of tossing and rolling, not always a comfortable place to be, but at the same time we can know that what may feel chaotic and out of control, is still clearly within God’s control.

Another line struck me today. “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander”. Although we know we have a deeper intimacy and experience of God in pain and suffering - which we feel we lose to some degree in the ‘good’ times, we would never choose the suffering. My feet never willingly ‘wander’ into deep waters.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8 v 28. He causes everything to work together, not just the big things or the hardest things or the ‘things’ of certain people, everything. Sometimes it’s hard to understand how this can possibly work, suffering often seems wasteful and pointless from our perspective. I guess we catch a glimpse of God ‘working it together for our good’, when, from our suffering, comes a deeper experience of him.