Lesson 3

Lesson 3: “I can’t do life on my own – and that’s OK; I was never meant to”

I’m guessing that this lesson is one that applies more to those of us raised in the West – where self-reliance, independence and ‘standing on your own two feet’ are considered virtues.

When this kind of perspective is the backdrop to your life, it can be quite humbling to be brought down to a place where you actually feel like day to day living is beyond your capabilities. This was where I got to – and it was hard. But in the struggle was a lesson that makes life better: I was never meant to ‘go it alone’. God built us to be dependent on Him, and in relationship with other people. Being brought low just enabled me to see the truth that very little is in my sphere of control, but nothing is outside of God’s.

As Jesus taught us, God wants us to relate to Him like little children. Those of you who have children will know that ‘littlies’ (as they call them here in Australia) are 100% dependent on you as their parents. They don’t worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or where their next meal is coming from. They ‘know’ that their parents have everything under control.

How freeing is it to have that kind of relationship with God? To know that everything is under His control – that you don’t need to worry about anything?

I’m not saying it’s easy – but then nothing of value ever is…

Lesson 2

Lesson 2: “Just because I feel something doesn’t make it true”

This lesson was one of the hardest for me to learn. For as long as my memories go back, I hadn’t known that there was a distinction between what I feel about a situation and the reality.

Let me illustrate: I hated the first day of each school term. I used to get myself into a high state of anxiety and dread. In my mind, the first day of school was terrifying – and nothing and no one could convince me otherwise. In retrospect though, there was not actually anything about the first day of school that made it more dangerous or scary than any other day. It is only now that I realise that my feelings about the day had no basis in reality. They were just feelings.

So what I have learnt is that feelings are an unreliable indicator of reality. Apparently (and I can’t say I’ve checked) the Bible has 365 exhortations to ‘not be afraid’. That implies to me that God thinks any feelings of anxiety or fear we may have are unnecessary. If we really trust God that He loves us and cares for us as much as He says (and that’s a whole other lesson right there), then He is right – we don’t need to be afraid of anything. So it seems to me that if we can get a really accurate vision of God as our Father, than we can stand up to our feelings of fear and say with confidence, “I know you’re a lie”.

Is there anything in your life today that is giving rise to strong feelings – fear, anger, hurt, offence? Is it time to ask whether your feelings are telling you the truth?

Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true…

Life lessons

Earlier in the year, I (Daniel) joined the team in MAF that distributes our weekly PrayerPoints e-mails. Each week these go around MAF accompanied by a devotional 'blurb'. For my first seven blurbs I wrote about my 'life lessons', and I thought I would share these here over the next few weeks. So, here goes...
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God seldom allows the opportunity of us going through tough times to pass without teaching us something. There are several life lessons I learnt during my struggles with anxiety and depression. These are they…

Lesson 1: “My value is found in who I am, not what I do – I have nothing to prove”

I don’t know about you, but I find it very easy to let my identity and self-worth be defined by what I do. Essentially, that means I value myself based on the feedback I absorb (either rightly or wrongly) from other people.

Of course, the problem with letting other people define your value is that they can also take it away - intentionally or unintentionally - with a look, a passing comment, or a poorly worded e-mail. Giving other people the power to determine how you feel about yourself can, in turn, drive your behaviour - you need to work harder and achieve that bit more, so that people applaud you and you can feel good about yourself again – at least for a while.

But God doesn’t think that way. We talk a lot about God’s ‘unconditional love’, but it’s easy to get used to the jargon and completely miss what that means. Our Father values us for who we are, not what we (or don’t) do. And who we are is defined by His love for us. The song ‘Good, Good Father’ expresses it well:

“…I'm loved by you. It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am”

The true origin and only reliable source of our identity and value is that we are loved and accepted by God - regardless. And He loved us ‘while we were yet sinners’. Nothing you do can make God love you more, or less.

Does that make you breathe a bit easier? Does that help you believe that maybe, even if you don’t work 10 hours today or meet that deadline, your world isn’t going to collapse around your ears? 

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with doing a good job, but if you only feel like a worthwhile human being when you’ve done a good job, then you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unnecessary pain.

It is vital to realise that there is no relationship between our value as a person and our performance. I have value because God loves me and accepts me, uniquely and individually.

You might think this devotion is a load of nonsense - but I don’t care; God loves me anyway 😊

Mareeba

It's the winter school holidays, so, as we haven't been away for a long time, (not including our 'holiday' in Brisbane) we decided to have a few days in Mareeba staying in a colleagues house.

The kids enjoyed the animals, particularly the dog and the chickens. Ruben loves getting up early and 'hanging out with the chickens' as he calls it. Not sure that the chickens feel the same way!

We did a long hike up a hill and rewarded ourselves with diabetes in a jar. Not the actual name obviously. Bethany said it was the best cafe she had ever been too!

Daniel loved it too!

Ruben turns 6

Ruben turned 6 last week. He had been planning his 'shark' birthday for almost a year. Cairns has helpfully opened an aquarium in the last year to coincide with the event. It is not a cheap place to visit, so it ended up being just our family.  Tempting as it was to sleep with the sharks, at $199 per adult and $149 per child with a minimum of 20 guests, we'll float that experience until we are a lot richer!

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Joshua decorated loads of balloons

Two boys snacking at the aquarium

Oceans

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

I was listening to the song, ‘Oceans’, by Hillsong today. Loved and listened to by churches all over the world, it’s a great song. Somehow we always seem to be able to relate well to all the water references in worship songs!

While Joshua was in hospital we had a line from the song stuck up on the wall, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders”. That’s a powerful line, but for me it’s a hard one. I want to trust, but honestly, I want some borders. Maybe I’m not actually verbalising it, but I am sure when I pray for more trust and faith, what I am actually saying is, I want to learn to trust you Lord, but please don’t let anything happen to the kids. Please give me more faith, but please don’t let anything happen to me. Maybe something small and manageable, no death, dying and illness and definitely not too much suffering. Definitely not childhood cancer. Am I brave enough to pray, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders”?

Fortunately, although we are called to trust without borders, God has clear boundaries. Jeremiah 5 v 22 says, “I, the Lord, define the ocean’s sandy shoreline as an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross. The waves may toss and roar, but they can never pass the boundaries I set." We may feel in the midst of tossing and rolling, not always a comfortable place to be, but at the same time we can know that what may feel chaotic and out of control, is still clearly within God’s control.

Another line struck me today. “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander”. Although we know we have a deeper intimacy and experience of God in pain and suffering - which we feel we lose to some degree in the ‘good’ times, we would never choose the suffering. My feet never willingly ‘wander’ into deep waters.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8 v 28. He causes everything to work together, not just the big things or the hardest things or the ‘things’ of certain people, everything. Sometimes it’s hard to understand how this can possibly work, suffering often seems wasteful and pointless from our perspective. I guess we catch a glimpse of God ‘working it together for our good’, when, from our suffering, comes a deeper experience of him.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Caleb won a colouring competition and got free tickets to go and see the new Incredible's movie. The promotions for 'the Meg' proved to be even more entertaining.