Some days it seems really easy to have strong faith. I play worship music because I enjoy it and the upbeat songs reflect my mood. Other days, for no apparent reason, faith seems so much harder - I feel like I am hanging on by a thread, and I play the worship music because I need to hear the truth of the words.
The last few days Daniel and I have been feeling pretty low. There is an undercurrent of tension in our house. Joshua's scan on Monday seems to be hanging over us. We still have faith but we are battling through the feelings of uncertainty and the emotions that come with it.
Please pray for Joshua on Monday and for peace for us as a family as we go through this.
It says in Psalms that we should praise God for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done (Psalm 107 v 8, 15, 21, 31). I seem to quickly forget what God has done in the past and start doubting, so this is a good exercise for me. I am thinking of the journey we have been on so far and how God has been with us.
When we were in Cairns, I prayed that although I didn't understand why we had to go through this that I would see the 'fingerprints of God' in the situation. Things along the way that couldn't be explained apart from God, that would just reassure me that he was in control. Maybe other people don't need this, but I do. So many times different doctors and health professionals have said they are amazed how well Joshua is doing, and how well he is coping with the chemo. They say it's a very long time since they have seen anyone do what he has done, with the intensity and high levels of chemo he has received. Of course I rejoice for Joshua when I hear things like this but on a deeper level it is confirmation in my heart that God is holding on to him. Joshua has what he has and he is getting the standard treatment. We are doing what we can with his nutrition and things like that, but it is nothing special. The only explanation is that God is fighting on his behalf. I often pray that heaven's armies will fight for Joshua, that when his body can't fight for itself that God will take over and fight for him. I believe that prayer is being answered.
"He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely to harbour." (Psalm 107 v 29 - 30)
Some more songs for those of you who like them:
Just Be Held by Casting Crowns
Sparrows by Jason Grey
Thy Will be Done by Hilary Scott and the Scott Family
We're following all these thoughts and events from day to day and thinking and praying for you all. We're seeing a lot of mountains in NZ, and even climbed a couple on foot (in a small way for septuagenarians). You are climbing possibly the biggest mountain right now, wondering just how many additional peaks are yet to come over the horizon. I found I had to stop to catch my breath, exhausted.
ReplyDeleteWe pray that in the current pause you will find some joy.
Dad Simkins
Hi guys, We have prayed daily for Joshua, for your family and for you as parents. One of the things we have prayed is that God would continually strengthen Josh's body and protect him for infections while his immunity is so low. Another thing we have prayed is that the doctors would be astounded by how well Josh copes with this aggressive treatment. And we have prayed that throughout this difficult journey your daily lives together as a family, lived in faith (however thread like that faith may seem some times), would be a testimony to the goodness of God, would bring glory to his name, would draw people into His presence and perhaps even into a living relationship with Him. I know our prayers are being answered :-) I think it is Third Day who sings a song with a chorus that says "stop holding on and just be held". Rest in the comfort that God is holding you all safely in His hands. Steve, Marnie, Caleb and Noah
ReplyDeletefeeling for you all soo much! Talk today by Mike Pilavaci on Joseph and perseverance...and God's favour being on him, even in the prison. Had pic of young chap trying to do a sack race and kept falling (have I shared this before?), but was picked up by Mum and carried to finish line.. God carries us when we keep falling.. for us as parents too! xxxx hugs
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